The "Hairy" Penguin

This is no penguin I'm talking of here. Just another ordinary human being with an extra-ordinary appetitie for food and gossip. I am talking of none other than a colleague, who manages to piss me off more than anyone, by her long -never-getting-to-the-point conversations. She loves beating around the bush, come to your cubicle and suddenly start a conversation about 'office politics', right when you order some delicious cheese burst Pizza or barbecued chicken. Even on days when I experience the munchies and open the wrapper off of my chocolate bar, she's there !

You might wonder why call her a Penguin, those beautiful endangered creatures of the snow ? She was very fond of a penguin name mentioned in a movie called "Mr. Popper's Penguins" - Gentoo. I don't really know If It's "GEN-too" or "JEN-too". But nevertheless, It's a friggin' funny name. She kept repeating that name like atleast a dozen times in one of her conversations and VOILA ! It was invented. I  just personalize and call her - Gentoo. 

Round & stout, approximately 5'2 inches, pronounced tummy, lots of hair (not just on the scalp, mind you) and pink bunny shoes with multi-colored socks. That's our lady ! One of the most slowest and hard working employees of our department, who seldom get's any appreciation for it and is still, like the rock of Gibraltar, patiently giving in more input without much output.

My problem with her? Nothing ! That's the problem I guess. Well, No ! This isn't really a problem but I think It's very disturbing to see her not paying any attention to her body. Especially, the face. She has a nice chubby face which is covered with hair all over. I'm talking moustache, cheeks, eye brows and white heads. Seriously ! I always ask myself in the head, what is stopping these women from paying a few bucks on self maintenance? Then there are those days when the deodorant simply fails. You should sue those ad agencies for giving you wrong hopes on publicizing the message of "Reduced body odor" on TV, radio, etc How can they let down people with problems. Real big problems !

Another thing I find annoying about this person. She simply can't find her way to the point ! Why do conversations and every message she has to send across turns out to be a case of going round the Mulberry bush ? You ask her how to resolve "A" and she take you on a time travel by offering a free tour of the "Why "A" should be the solution. Some people really test your patience, you know. And you have to sublimate your sinister thoughts of grabbing the nearest object and landing a blow on their comprehensive brain, erupting with those zig zag, puzzled thinking.

If there's one thing I would like to strongly advise women, through this small platform, It would be to just take a break, make an hour's worth of time for yourself during any given day and go to a beauty saloon. It doesn't cost much to make yourself look... more CIVILIZED? You don't need those extra hair growing under your arms like a man. They're better off with it. Let's not copy their style. Those legs CAN look sexy If you try. For starters, you can get a razors. Most of the population is blessed with fully functional nostrils. Don't you women just love spending some EXTRA-long time in the shower ? It's fun. It's pampering your senses, It's bringing out the divine Goddess in you... Unleash the power ! Okay ! In short - It's fun to bathe. So, get that razor on and pour some exotic Elemi scented shower gel on your loofas and get going. Hope this in some ways helps reduce the amount of unwanted hair on human body.

P.S. Forgot to add, Bleaching works good for facial hair. FYI. 

STOP GIVING THESE POOR ANIMALS A COMPLEX AND GET A SHAVE !