Looking out for some fresh topics and weirdo people. But wait ! Who say's their weirdos? Me !!! Oh yeah right ! So, this is solely based on my opinion of someone and the way I perceive them.
Indian summer can really get nasty sometimes and you feel it the most, If you have to travel in the afternoon, packed in a 9 seater cabs, with your only hope being the slow passing wind, If you're lucky enough to get the window seat. As the case always is, I ride shotgun 'cos I love riding shotgun ! We had a new member, amidst the boring hum-drum of those cab drives, where my only rescue happens to be my Mp3 player. A Tall, bulky, dark man with heavily receding hairline, spectacles, a well fed belly and a passion for jerking off in the cab, joins us, while we wait outside an employees door for the pick up. For a moment I thought I was hallucinating but then, you can't blame a person who's watched porn the previous night, now can you ?
Where does my problem start ?
My problems starts with his crappy behaviour of wearing the extreme chauvinistic facade and unwilling to adjust. A few days pass by and we notice women who sat next to him having all sorts of problems. Some complained, he touched (rather, tries) to touch them. I witnessed this too where he keeps falling off on the person next to him, especially when It's a woman. Women started sitting right behind the uncomfortable side of the cab and I am guessing, were slowly developing this detest towards his unbending and inconsiderate attitude.
One day, we politely asked him to take the back seat and make room for the ladies. I know we're not living in those times where men practised chivalry as a birthright. But then, he reluctantly agreed and later got stubborn saying he won't sit behind. CAUTION ALERT !! He'd already earned the hatred. This followed a complaint to the transport manager, who besides sharing his sympathies with us, gave us false assurance to fix the matter. The matter wasn't fixed. There were talks and rumors about him. People spoke outright that he's being a dickhead.
"Whatcha gonna do with all that ass, all that ass inside them pants ?
he's gonna make make make you scream ! Make you scream !
His humps, his humps, his humps,
His crazy big fat bums
Check it out !!!"
Say, anybody recall that song yet ? I think I've heard it before !
One crazy afternoon we were waiting for this gigantic and talkative woman right outside her house. Charlie starts shaking his legs continuously. The cab started shaking and I was getting annoyed. It reached a point where I turned around and said, "Can you please stop shaking. I feel like this cab is masturbating and we'll be thrown out?" He started laughing loud and heavy, like this was the best one liner he heard in his lifetime. But he still wouldn't listen.I mean, WTF, don't you get the point ?
Here's what makes me think ! Don't did these men realise how important public etiquette is ? especially when you're surrounded by women ? He makes a loud sound trying to accumulate all that mucous in his mouth after a few times of coughing and out on the road goes his shit ! I know It sounds so gross, but just imagine having to deal with it everyday ? I choose some rock'n'roll instead of his lung cry.
Always knew this should be the ideal way for you to travel Charlie ! You're space, your time and those lil water creatures getting all inquisitive to figure out, what that sticky gooey shit coming out of the big fat turd above, really is !
Here's a piece of advise to young balding, bulky and ugly looking men (sorry ! truth is harsh) - Get your lungs checked and carry a hankie around when you know you're going to disgust people around you with your little lung excavation. Stop shaking in the cab like you're jerking off and most important, learn to be courteous and make adjustments. This is a big turn off !
On altruistic notes, Never too late to exercise ;-) Go Get them Calories, Fatass !
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