Music - The way to a woman's heart !

I've closely observed the ways men adopt to woo a woman or ask her out on a date. These days It's a rarity to see the old traditional way of exchanging letters or politely asking someone out for a cup of coffee. Atleast, I think so. But I never thought someone would use Music as a way to get through, until I met - Music Man !

Why Music man ? Hmmm, for starters, I don't see people more often singing out loud in public while taking a walk or passing you by, unless of course, you're an aficionado. So, I met this guy at work, who has been extremely sweet and sensitive towards most of his colleagues. Such a nice trait in such hard times. You sit there and wonder, how on earth are you going to finish all the dump of a work load in front of you and murmur and then hear a voice from the background keeping you going with an old philoophical dialog, probably from Plato, passing through your ears. God ! Was that you ??? No ! It's the tall, hunky, music man trying to serenade you with his witty comebacks. Oh brother ! Really ?

I tried to avoid talking to this guy simply 'cos he didn't fascinate me in anyway and was rather coming across as a show-off, attention seeking jerk. So, how does he start a conversation ? Music ! First, he tries to determine what kind of music you listen to. Second, he starts naming all the commercial and a few unknown bands to catch your attention and then embarass wikipedia by covering their discography in a few minutes. Impressive ! So, with me, the question was about Chris Cornell. Have you heard of this artist called Chris Cornell ? Previously played for Sound Garden and then switched to... Okay ! Wait up ! I know who Chris Cornell is and I've been a fan. "Damn, that didn't work".

Now, he tries to force me into listening to some song about being sad and lonely and still having a good time. Supposedly, his shower favorite. I couldn't decide If I really needed that bit of an info, really, but thanks. Don't get me wrong when I say this about men, I am not trying to be a cold hearted woman, brushing away potential suitors, If potential suitors were to come along. So, music didn't work, lets start with food. Now he asks me If I've tasted Japanese food. Japanese food isn't easily available on Indian streets selling like hot cakes and most of my weekends are spent doing more simple things like perhaps, catching up with a few friends for some beer ? So, Nope ! Nah-uh ! No Japanese food on my menu. So, Bingo ! There you go ! What better way to hit on a chic than ask her out for some Japanese food with subtle hints of going Dutch. I was kinda taken aback for a moment. Here's Mac daddy, who barely knew me for 15 minutes, during a random smoke break and now, the matters drifted to japanese food and asking a girl out with circumlocutory statements.

Finally, what did it was the fact that when I went up to my Team lead to speak about the updates for the day, he, seated on the opposite side of the cubicle, starts singing loudly. What just happened ? Did they plan on entertaining the entire team with some karaoke in the house ? And It's really funny to hear other men around saying, "That boy just loves singing". Soon, Robert Jr wants to comment on this seemingly exciting topic at a mundane work place and joins in by adding, "Oh yeah ! I've always noticed how much he's in love with music". I stood there taking everything in and wanting to just finish with giving my updates for the day and getting the hell out of there. There was no way I was going to taste Japanese anytime soon :D

And now, let's not forget, the man's a good resource to share your new business around. I got a link on my communicator ID to check out some random band stuff started by one of his friends. The true loyal advertising friend. With friends like these, you really don't need publicity and a bill board.

Wow ! Men, those surprising creatures make me wonder sometimes with all the lame tactics they pull off just to get a date. And now, everytime the douchebag looks at you, he waves his hand out. Everybody around now knows, we're friends. We're talking. We're on. He was just trying to be nice, you might say, but I guess my book of lame-ass suitors is full by now and I have gathered enough experience to gauge where things are headed.

Okay guys ! Japanese food and naming old rock'n'roll stars is not going to get you lucky If the chic you're running after has finished her degree in Rock'nRoll. Get inventive. I'm just saying, a decent force-less approach, with that attention seeking attitude kept at minimum might have sounded good for starters. Another element of surprise in my everyday life. By the way, have you heard the Beth Hart version of Sinner's Prayer ? If not, then you gotta check it out. I'm not going to sing it to persuade you, but definitely recommend it for a good listen on a lazy afternoon with some scotch and the mindset to accommodate bluesy rock. We don't have to do Japanese food either, for you to consider it a good recommendation :D

Oh well ! They really try so hard sometimes, don't they? Sigh !

Ever heard of "Mucous Man"?

Looking out for some fresh topics and weirdo people. But wait ! Who say's their weirdos? Me !!! Oh yeah right ! So, this is solely based on my opinion of someone and the way I perceive them.

Indian summer can really get nasty sometimes and you feel it the most, If you have to travel in the afternoon, packed in a 9 seater cabs, with your only hope being the slow passing wind, If you're lucky enough to get the window seat. As the case always is, I ride shotgun 'cos I love riding shotgun ! We had a new member, amidst the boring hum-drum of those cab drives, where my only rescue happens to be my Mp3 player. A Tall, bulky, dark man with heavily receding hairline, spectacles, a well fed belly and a passion for jerking off in the cab, joins us, while we wait outside an employees door for the pick up. For a moment I thought I was hallucinating but then, you can't blame a person who's watched porn the previous night, now can you ?

Where does my problem start ?

My problems starts with his crappy behaviour of wearing the extreme chauvinistic facade and unwilling to adjust. A few days pass by and we notice women who sat next to him having all sorts of problems. Some complained, he touched (rather, tries) to touch them. I witnessed this too where he keeps falling off on the person next to him, especially when It's a woman. Women started sitting right behind the uncomfortable side of the cab and I am guessing, were slowly developing this detest towards his unbending and inconsiderate attitude.

One day, we politely asked him to take the back seat and make room for the ladies. I know we're not living in those times where men practised chivalry as a birthright. But then, he reluctantly agreed and later got stubborn saying he won't sit behind. CAUTION ALERT !! He'd already earned the hatred. This followed a complaint to the transport manager, who besides sharing his sympathies with us, gave us false assurance to fix the matter. The matter wasn't fixed. There were talks and rumors about him. People spoke outright that he's being a dickhead.

"Whatcha gonna do with all that ass, all that ass inside them pants ? 

he's gonna make make make you scream ! Make you scream ! 

His humps, his humps, his humps, 

His crazy big fat bums

Check it out !!!"

Say, anybody recall that song yet ? I think I've heard it before !

One crazy afternoon we were waiting for this gigantic and talkative woman right outside her house. Charlie starts shaking his legs continuously. The cab started shaking and I was getting annoyed. It reached a point where I turned around and said, "Can you please stop shaking. I feel like this cab is masturbating and we'll be thrown out?" He started laughing loud and heavy, like this was the best one liner he heard in his lifetime. But he still wouldn't listen.I mean, WTF, don't you get the point ?

Here's what makes me think ! Don't did these men realise how important public etiquette is ? especially when you're surrounded by women ? He makes a loud sound trying to accumulate all that mucous in his mouth after a few times of coughing and out on the road goes his shit ! I know It sounds so gross, but just imagine having to deal with it everyday ? I choose some rock'n'roll instead of his lung cry.

Always knew this should be the ideal way for you to travel Charlie ! You're space, your time and those lil water creatures getting all inquisitive to figure out, what that sticky gooey shit coming out of the big fat turd above, really is ! 

Here's a piece of advise to young balding, bulky and ugly looking men (sorry ! truth is harsh) - Get your lungs checked and carry a hankie around when you know you're going to disgust people around you with your little lung excavation. Stop shaking in the cab like you're jerking off and most important, learn to be courteous and make adjustments. This is a big turn off !

 

On altruistic notes, Never too late to exercise ;-) Go Get them Calories, Fatass !